there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
