Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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