oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
