he told me I talked like a deaf person
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
