when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
