fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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