I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
