I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
