the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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