You're completely useless in the revolution.
no, he came in my armpit
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
