Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
