You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
