Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
