Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
