marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
