fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
