the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
