If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
