your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
