Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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