i just google imaged poop.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
