Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
