he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
