thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
