I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
