so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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