I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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