Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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