Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
