Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
