I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
