then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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