me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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