Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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