this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
