Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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