and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Randomize
