I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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