he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
