period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
