Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
