I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
