She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
