Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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