Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
