RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize