I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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