God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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