ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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