Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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