Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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