Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
