He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
