In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we're making bets on your personal life
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
