you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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