i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
