paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
