She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
