South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
