shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
