margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
