I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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