k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
