is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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