after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
