you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
