we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
