i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
operation harelip BJ is a go
and she was petting her beer can
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
