Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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