I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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